Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
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After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
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Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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