i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
