My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
