I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
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