Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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