Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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