well I can't set my house on fire every night
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
is this the sara with the beer cane?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
