A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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