do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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