and she was petting her beer can
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize