you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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