this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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