How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
