omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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