well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
