I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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