Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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