ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Randomize
