drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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