I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
