I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
