if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
