meet me or not, i'm out of control
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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