I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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