3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
We have so much sex to catch up on
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
