Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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