dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
we're so committed to being not committed
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