This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize