come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
