Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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