I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
When are your genitals available?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Randomize
