Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
