well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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