sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
New Dating App in Dallas For Only The Most Ambitious and Attractive Singles
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.