I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
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I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."