Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Pappa wants mamma naked
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I will be naked everywhere
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
