i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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