I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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