By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize