Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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