dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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