can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
