Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Damn victory sex feels great
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