i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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