I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
