he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
