I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
