girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
