I just threw up on my dentist
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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