Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
