i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You pole danced in your parka.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
