Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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