people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
