dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
