5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
