Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
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