when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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