consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
