So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
