why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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